Sibling Commiseration

Like all big brothers my son likes to make his sister scream.  Usually he’s the one who gets punished.  Lately, though, my daughter’s screams have been getting longer and louder.  Tonight, when she shrieked, I decided it was time for her to get punished too.

My son who normally fusses, yells, cries, and screams from his chair in the corner was unusually quiet.  He was busy listening to the cries of his sister from behind the bathroom door.  As soon as my daughter stopped, I released both her and her brother.

Son walking over to his sister: “I’m so sorry, Bubs.  I’m sorry you were in the bathroom.”

Daughter tearfully replies: “Yeah.  Bafroom.  Sniff“

Son and daughter climb back onto the chair from which they had been removed in order to be punished.

Son: “Now, no more screaming or fussing, ok?”

Thank You

And Happy Veterans Day.

more about “Thank You“, posted with vodpod

 

Waiting for my Second Wind

This deployment is winding down.  I’m so glad it’s almost over!  I’ve gotten to the point where I want to tell my son that Daddy’s coming home soon.  Except he’s three, and soon is relative.  So I’ve kept my mouth shut.

One might think I’d be going about the house starting homecoming preparations: doing some deep cleaning, organizing, finishing all those projects on my deployment to-do list, spending extra time exercising to be in my best possible shape for homecoming, etc.  But I’m not.

Instead, I feel worn out.  I’m tired of doing housework, tired of eating leftovers for days on end because I still haven’t figured out how to cook the right amount of food, tired of being the sole caregiver of two toddlers, tired of sending care packages, just tired of this deployment.

It’s not an overwhelming feeling; I just feel drained.  It’s the feeling you get after an adrenaline rush has run its course.  Knowing that backup is coming so soon, I’ve mentally started to relax and wind down.  That take charge, I can get these things done on my own energy has left, because I know with every fiber of my being that soon I won’t need it anymore.  The deployment rush is gone.

So for now the floor needs mopping, the yard need raking, the cars need washing, the bathrooms need scrubbing, the carpets need vacuuming, the bills need organizing, and on and on.  I just don’t have the motivation to do any of it.  What I want to do is draw myself a hot bath, pop a classy chick flick, like Pride and Prejudice, into the laptop (you know, the laptop my husband took on his deployment with him), and soak.

I won’t though, because it’s not over yet.  I’ll just keep plodding along, waiting for my second wind.

Suggestions for Helping a Military Wife and Mom: Catholic Version

When people hear that your husband is deploying, they often respond with a, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”  They may even follow-up with a, “No, seriously.  If there’s anything at all I can do, just give me a call.”  While the sentiments may be sincere, these people will rarely get a call for help.  Then they will go about their day assuming that everything is fine with the military wife and, as time goes by, forget to even offer help.

The problem with this is that all military wives have pride in their ability to take care of everything at home.  Too much pride to let others see how much help they may actually need.  Too much pride to pick up a phone and ask for help.  And while it’s true that there is no one who can correct this problem except for the military wife, there are some ways others can reach out more effectively than the general, “Let me know” offer.  The best way is to call and offer a specific suggestion.

Here are fourteen specific ways in which you can help the wife (or husband) of a deployed service member:

1) Volunteer to watch her young kids so she can go to Confession.  The graces from this sacrament are greatly needed during this time!  If you have kids of your own ask to meet her at church, and you can swap watching the kids while the other receives the sacrament.

2) Sit with or near her during Mass.  That way if she has to exit with a cranky toddler or fussy baby, there will be someone there to supervise her other children.  Mass can be the toughest time to get through when there is only one parent.

3) Offer to watch her children during the week so she can have a chance to go to Daily Mass, Adoration, or just to make a visit alone.

4) Offer to take her children for an hour or two during the day so she can have time to pray, read, do chores, projects, or run errands without children underfoot.  Giver her some “me” time.

5) Invite her out somewhere kid friendly.

6) Line up a babysitter for her and invite her out for adult time.  If the babysitter’s lined up she won’t be as inclined to say no.

7) Cook her a meal.  Don’t offer,  just tell her you’re bringing something over on ____ day. (remember to ask about food allergies/preferences)

8 ) Drop off a box at the post office for her.  Many military wives send packages to their husbands overseas, but long lines and little ones don’t mix.  Offer to save her the trip, especially if you are going there anyway.

9) Offer to pick up some milk, bread, eggs, diapers, etc. from the store for her.  This is the kind of thing she would ask her husband to do on his way home from work.  If you’re out at the grocery store, call her up and ask if she needs anything.

10) Offer to watch her kids while she takes a sick child to the doctors or for a well baby exam.

11) Offer to be a chauffeur for her children.  Bring them to practices, scouts, CCD, etc.  This works especially well if you have children attending the same activity.

12) Volunteer to help around the house with chores her husband normally did.  Lawn care, car maintenance, plumbing problems, etc. are all common areas in which knowledgeable help would be appreciated.

13) Give her a phone call.  Even a short conversation will tell her that you care about her and will give her some very refreshing adult interaction.

14) And if you feel that you really can’t do any of the above, at least pray for her and her family and tell her that you are doing so.

How Awful

It’s terrible enough when these things happen to adults, but to fight over a baby?  I think the media’s bias is clear when they refer to the child as “it.”  I understand the sex of the baby was not given, but still.  It?  Give me a break!

Song of the Day

I just can’t relax

I can’t wait to turn the page of my calendar on Saturday.  Not because All Saint’s Day is my favorite feast day, but because seeing the word November at the top of the page means I’m that much closer to my husband coming home.  In fact, his homecoming is so close I could be counting down in weeks instead of months.  But I can’t bring myself to do that yet.  There is just too much time left.  Many more days where all of my hopes could be crushed.  I have Courage After Fire sitting on my dresser.  I haven’t opened it.  I’m not ready to invest the mental and emotional energy into the homecoming yet.

Soon.  But not yet.

Instead I continue to collect resources like this in my mental Rolodex.  Just in case.

more about “I Just can’t relax“, posted with vodpod

Video found at http://www.intheirboots.com/itb/

Get ready to kill the fatted calf

When I read the news that Pope Benedict XVI had offered an Apostolic Constitution for the Anglicans who wanted to join the Catholic Church, I was excited.  I had no idea that reunification with such a large group of Anglicans was pending.  I’ve read some interesting commentary on this move by our Holy Father, including this piece found at Catholic News Agency .

October 20, 2009

Fr. Rutler discusses Vatican’s Anglican provision

By Fr. George Rutler *

Editor’s Note: Fr. George Rutler, a convert from Anglicanism, was asked by CNA what his reaction is to the Vatican’s new Anglican provision. Fr. Rutler’s reply follows.

It is a dramatic slap-down of liberal Anglicanism and a total repudiation of the ordination of women, homosexual marriage and the general neglect of doctrine in Anglicanism. Indeed, it is a final rejection of Anglicanism. It basically interprets Anglicanism as a spiritual patrimony based on ethnic tradition rather than substantial doctrine and makes clear that it is not a historic “church” but rather an “ecclesial community” that strayed and now is invited to return to communion with the Pope as Successor of Peter.

The Vatican was careful to schedule simultaneously with the Vatican announcement, a press conference of the Catholic Archbishop of Westminster and the deeply humiliated Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury to enable the Anglicans to save some face by saying that this recognizes the spiritual patrimony of Anglicanism and that ecumenical dialogue goes ahead. That is like George Washington at Yorktown saying that he recognizes the cultural contributions of Britain and hopes diplomatic relations flourish. The Apostolic Constitution is not a retraction of ecumenical desires, but rather is the fulfillment of ecumenical aspirations, albeit not the way most Anglican leaders had envisioned it.

The press, uninformed and always tabloid in matters of religion, will zoom in on the permission for married priests. They will miss the most important point: that this reiterates the Catholic Church’s insistence that Anglican Holy Orders are invalid, and perforce so is their Eucharist. These married Anglican priests have to be fully and validly ordained by a Catholic bishop. Following Orthodox custom, they are allowed to marry only before ordination and not after. And no married man may become a bishop. (Thus, any Anglican bishop joining one of these “ordinariates” would no longer be recognized as a bishop. Under special provision, Anglican bishops would have some right to pastoral authority, but would not be bishops.)

It remains to be seen how many Anglicans (Episcopalians in the USA) will be received into the Catholic Church under these provisions, but it is a final nail in the coffin of the rapidly disintegrating Anglicanism at least in the West and will radically challenge Anglicans in other parts of the world. Perhaps most importantly, it sets a precedent for reunion with Orthodox churches whose Holy Orders the Catholic Church already recognizes as valid. I should not be surprised if the Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury eventually is received into the Catholic Church, at least when he retires and gets a patent of nobility and a pension.

* Fr. George Rutler is pastor of The Church of Our Saviour in New York City and is a convert to Catholicism from the Anglican Communion.

Well, now it looks like there are going to be many who take the Pope up on his offer.  After hearing what seems like nothing but bad news for so long, this has made me incredible happy!

So to our dear Anglican brethren, we missed you.  Welcome back.